Do other animals get intoxicated? Apparently they do not, not purposely- The closest possibility I found was a recurring example in the Caribbean in which a certain species of monkey would raid beachside bars and drink the frozen daiquiris, but they drank them for the high sugar content, not the high- Witnesses did report visible inebriation in these monkeys- I would imagine, to the monkey, this would be more of an annoyance and an impediment to getting more of that sugar-

So here Humanity is, Alone Again with our weird habits- As far as barbiturates go, there’s a myriad of reasons why an individual would choose to drink a pitcher of mudslides- We can all agree on the effect though, that individual purposely handicaps themselves- The physical handicaps are just side effects of the desired mental handicap- We do this so we don’t think so damn much- That jury of judgment-weighing is forever in session in our heads- Short-circuiting our brains with barbiturates kills the power to their microphones- A decision that jury may have warned to be a bad one, is open to impulsively act upon- So we dance on chairs, flirt with each other’s dates, and drive cars into ditches- If we are muting these voices of moderation with depressants, we are just making them insane with stimulants- The jury’s microphones might still be on, but they’re not using them- They’re too busy blathering each other’s faces off to be concerned with the bad decisions they need to be warning you not to make- So once again, you’re on the dance floor doing the smurf with someone else’s boyfriend-

Why do we do this to ourselves? We’re not supposed to be this smart- This big brain in our heads sometimes is like a rock in our shoe- We can’t get the rock out, so we make the foot numb-