We all talk about places with vibes, and with good reason, because you can’t deny a vibe- We have the energy of Venice, New Orleans, or Prague, or the lesser traveled but equally vibing places like Savannah, GA, Galveston, TX, and Boone, NC- Sometimes it leans negative, sometimes positive, sometimes just weird, but we can all agree most places have some sort of aura that defines the area and effects anyone passing through-

But how often do we sit around and discuss the marvel of an area with absolutely no vibe whatsoever? I’ve visited areas rich in history and life, yet found them completely lacking in atmosphere; a ‘vibe vacuum’, an ANTIvibe- Think about it, you know you’ve experienced this, and you probably don’t want to relive/acknowledge it, because it is uniquely disturbing- There are certain parts of the country and world we expect this banality; suburban sprawl, tract housing, cookie cutter neighborhoods that are constructed within a week, etc- But when you encounter that vibe vacancy in surroundings you expected to “move” you, it is jarring, to say the least-

I remember traveling to a tropical destination; a historic wildlife refuge filled with lush greenery and history of human occupation stretching back eons- Yet, it felt as lifeless as a Walmart parking lot outside of Gary, Indiana- The lack of vibe skewed reality, as if I was watching a documentary with distorted audio and muted color tones- Rather than dwelling in the beige-ness of it all, I decided to go on a hike to discover the exotic wonders I expected of this place- It didn’t work- I thought I heard something back in the jungle, and hoped a wild boar would come rushing out to gore my leg, just to break the monotony- I counted the hours until I could leave-

The same thing happened with me years earlier on an extended stay at a seaside town in the Middle East- This place has a very rich history, unique architecture, and is thronged with street merchants selling everything from BBQ chicken to bootlegged cassette tapes of Duran Duran- Yet, I was confronted with the same thing with the wildlife refuge; a Twilight Zone lack of vibe-

I wish I would’ve asked the people I was with at the time if they were experiencing the same thing, but when you’re caught up in such a moment, especially in a place that doesn’t seem to fit the bill of mediocrity, it’s easy to assume the problem lies with YOU- Perhaps it’s just an off day or you woke up in a funk-

Whether you believe a vibe is possessed by the place or its simply a matter of our skewed perspective, I think everyone can agree that certain houses have vibes, whether you belive in ghosts and spirits or not- So what about a room? Or even an object?Ask any musician, and they’ll bore you to tears over the oozing vibe of their vintage guitar/bass/horn/violin- I can hear it as if I were talking into the mirror with a microphone, “I don’t know what it is, but this ’76 Musicmaster with the cigarette burns and dented 13th fret is like a family member!” So if an instrument can have vibe, how about a yoyo? Say, an early 70s glow in the dark Duncan Imperial that has probably been dropped 10,000 times? Or a pencil? Your great uncle’s carpenter pencil he had in his pocket when he had that last heart attack? Conversely, take a 100 year old Tiffany lamp that just does NOT seem to move anyone, despite its lovely stained glass panes and age-darkened brass base- Granny bought this lamp new in the 20s and took it with her everywhere she moved, yet gave it to Grandma as if it were a half-eaten pack of peanuts when Grandma offered to clean it- You ended up with it, and yet you have stronger feelings toward that glow in the dark yoyo than you do this lamp Granny bought before most homes had telephones- Now go back upwards in scale to a sitting room that never gets sat in, a house that is boring even after a $75,000 makeover, a historic neighborhood that feels 3 years old, and so on and upwards-

Likely there is no answer to these questions, and I wouldn’t imagine many folks wasting time theorizing on this phantom phenomenon- But if there was an answer, or even a credible theory on what causes this phenomenon, I would sacrifice a pinky toe to hear it!